Prelude
This year I put in my best so far, skilled up as a software developer, made some money, saved a good part of it too (yunno that thing about the future). I took care of myself, it was me first and people came later. I read my books on time and made good grades in my exams. I went on retreats, made sure my spiritual battery's backups didn't fail and met some great ministers that renewed my passion for Christ. I met with my covenant friends and made great connections. It was a Year of All-around results. Yeah, all that didn't happen. Never did.
January
I was on a retreat throughout the whole month, charging my spirit man vigorously 24/7 seriously and intentional with my growth listening only to the Davidic Minstrels and asking serious questions from my senior friends. I was also working for them building their website, I have so engrossed in it that my parents had little-ish with me and said some things that because my spirit man was very open stuck to my subconscious - I became money-driven. I was just charging, bursting into Encounters and all that. I am a nice writer you see and I was writing some posts weekly under the name "Tales from Cave Adullam".. Ha Blessed times. I loved the supernatural.
February
This month I believe was the turning point of everything, the beginning of the change. 2018, I followed him and I was like how could we be going through similar paths and I was eager to meet him late 2018, I sent a text I am not sure he saw. But he reached out to me and my friends to help with an app and I happily obliged, I felt like this could be finally where everything would change for better. Young Zuck lol. I was naive.
March - April
School had resumed, little time before preparations for exams and we couldn't start the work yet kept shifting for some good reasons but my guys pulled out because we couldn't work on the project anymore, money issues. This project is what made me learn JS for real and start to React + React Native and anything you know me for today. I did a lot of research during this period man.. I sought to consolidate for my technical debt in a short while but I was met with burnouts. It was during this time I worked 100hrs in a week. And smart guy, my grades took care of themselves, I mean I answered questions from my sleep in class a few times and went back to it. Yes, you can say I shouldn't have taken the opportunity then but it made me who I am today, the bad and the good part all started here. My parents started getting worried about remote work. Me I didn't care sha it was part of the sacrifices I had to make.. stupid me. During this time, I was using my former laptop(my first wife), 3GB of RAM and I was running VSCode and Chrome, trust me you don't want this while doing React Native. Had to wait for like 5 mins before expo start would run. Funny enough, the battery was bad, barely lasted an hour and I worked 100hours, yeah NEPA did me dirty. Around this time I stopped writing tho, I still receive the titles of what I am supposed to write.
May - June
As A Dev
The Pressure to deliver increased, I am thrown wide open into the river of beautiful UIs and deliberating which stack to implement reading engineering blogs from various tech companies with features that the app should have. I remember Saturday, May 18 when I added Biometric functionality and sorted out the logic for authentication. Mostly what I did here was to document what I need to be added, what to churn out etc. I was the entire engineering team and at times I would be doesn't this man know I am a student ni. I did learn a couple of things but some the hard way. Don't cast stones, I made promises that I thought I could keep hence the pressure but he wasn't a tech person so I guess he didn't understand me. Yeah, I applied to Andela and almost got into SwipeMax as a Junior Dev but school and parents, you know the rest.
Finances
I was a reluctant member of the "we go buy Benz" and Crypto was looking like the way and took my 35k + my allowance + departmental and faculty dues + some cash at hand made series of transactions alongside Victor and I lost everything, sort of. I went hungry for some days but thank God. That was what crippled my finances, I had debts to pay and I was no longer the Genie that fulfilled people's wishes.
July
I parted ways with my employer in a funny way. You see that was when I started ghosting people not getting online deliberately not picking calls for weeks etc but we thank God. I am still struggling with that habit but I will do better, I promise. I couldn't move up with life because he was everywhere and I was like what if he told this person or that. I was just traumatized even till now if he checks my status I shudder, yeah I can't bring myself to delete his number not yet. You see, I had people that could have taken care of me but I was busying taking care of others that I didn't realize how deeply hurt I was. I stopped posting a lot on WhatsApp then. UI Prays was during this time and I went there solely to feed my desires with the power available this thing must have a balance but that one is for another time. During this time, I applied to GitHub, Auth) and Ingressive as a Campus Ambassador but yeah I was rejected, all my friends got in as Ingressive Campus Ambassadors. Yipee, a win for the guys is a win for me too.
August
My Birth Month. Yeah, it didn't go as planned but I went for a retreat and all that because my spiritual life was on a low mad low but that still didn't stop all these small boy manifestations during meetings. I know to some extent how to manipulate spiritual laws lol and like I mentioned at the start of this year I asked serious questions what I asked and found answers to where what people would ask me throughout the year and they knew never something was wrong and that worries me. Nevertheless, this began the series of rejections that flooded till late November. I was near breakdown, questioned my skills and aggressively pushed to compensate them. I got a new laptop this month and I was damn happy, do you know what it meant?? I was just coding and trying to fill up the gaps in my "years of experience". Yeah, I resent an application to Ingressive, moved to the next stage, made the video but I never sent it.
September
The recent events began to mess with my head and I couldn't concentrate anymore. a friend of mine still persuades me to work on it but anyways. I started to use Twitter made new friends Richard, Michael Ikechi, Jude, Raymond, Shalvah, Kofo, Korede, etc. My tweet for an internship made rounds but that still didn't stop rejections. I was also pressured subconsciously by my friends, everyone seemed to make it one way or the other and I was left behind and yes they whined me and I am like you don't understand. I was skipping classes, missing out on things and fun moments and you have to be doing something tangible right Nah I was trying to suppress mental and the physical burnout I had in previous months. I was also trying to fit in into cliques sort of but it didn't work out well. Remember the dues, Michael Ikechi sent me the money to pay for it. That is my first money gift and I will be forever grateful.
October
A Nice month I must say, two companies decided to shine their lights on my resume, thank God. Oando called me for an interview twice but I chopped L at the end. I knew from the start though so it didn't surprise me. I remember when I came to Lagos and got lost, yeah don't blame me, my phone was dead throughout. I was given a shot at MKobo been there for two months and I must say it has been a nice stay so far. My first semester 300L exams and I crash read again. They said results are out but I haven't checked it yet. I was preparing to leave UI for 6 months and improve spiritually, physically, financially and all that. I tried to break my Twitter "addiction", locked my account and changed the password and sent it to me in 2 weeks then after exams but I recovered the account when I received a Twitter DM from a client - email notifications. The deal didn't work out at the end.
November
Ah! IT begins said all my goodbyes to everyone and all of that and set my foot on a journey to a different place. I don't know what exactly happened this month but loneliness hit me hard. I realized I was just thriving because I had people around me, I couldn't but smile because people were around me and they took away my regrets and robbed me of time. I wanted to go for a mental checkup then because I wasn't sure anymore. I noticed that I picked up some funny traits on Twitter so I had to detoxify my mentality, reduce my engagements and all that and it did some work. I arranged to meet with Richard my online React Native Mentor and I got lost, again, yeah my phone was dead so no maps. I also started a Mini Frontend Bootcamp with DSC UI members, I realized that I learn better when I carry people along, I will do my best to remain committed to it. I sent a letter to future me delivers by April, can't wait to see what I wrote.
December
Friends pulled me out of my loneliness. I fell in love with UI/UX here because it was hindering my productivity. I like to be creative and claim ownership to everything because I am a "Do it from scratch" guy but I had to fight that mentality and I have minor breakthroughs already. I met with Michael, alongside Jude and Raymond. But I am glad for one thing, everyone around had a great year.
Endnote
While all these happening, I still couldn't but change people's lives, I was shocked when the texts were coming in, I may be a sly and/or an annoying person, looking as though I have answers to all your questions but I can't resist helping people in need, whether financially, spiritually, career-wise, etc. The passion to find solutions to people's problem keeps me awake.
Shout out
Mumsy Marvellous, Popsy Emmanuel, El Blessing, Mumsy Seun, Pst Israel, Pst Lawrence, Proph. John De Liberty, Apst. Mike Orokpo, Peace, Glory, Lola, Daniel, Seun, Deolu, Deborah, Adura, Kayode, Michael Ikechi, Michael Mekuleyi, Josiah, MFMCF UI, DSC UI, Nerv, "Because, why not?", and everyone I know, thank you all for a great year.
I bet you didn't know all these happened? But at least you have the answers to some questions already.